i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
