Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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