she was so not down for the gang bang
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
