you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
