He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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