Do vagina's smell?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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