I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
