I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
