Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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