Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
