As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
