He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
