can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mom said you looked used
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
