Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
