can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
