The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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