Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
