I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
