is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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