Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i barfeds in our rink
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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