Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
