i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
