I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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