my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
