I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize