Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
