i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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