I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
