I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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