it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
