Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize