Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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