This girl is more easily done than said...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Found the puke drawer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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