In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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