Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just threw up on my dentist
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Randomize
