9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
