when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
