And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
