im about as happy as oj after his trial
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
