he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
