This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize