Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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