Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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