Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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