I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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