The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
