i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize