I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
