i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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