so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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