I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
