I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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