if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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