My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
