Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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